I realize I have been dating the same type of guy for the last ten years. He’s handsome, charismatic, funny, and a hell of a kisser. But he’s just not that into me. Most recently, I rekindled with a former crush and we have been having a good time. But something is missing. “You need someone more sensitive,” my friend said. “Just have fun,” said another. “He’s a hottie. I don’t know what I would do if I had someone like that on me.” All the comments were the same. They encouraged me to have fun, throw caution to the wind, and enjoy myself for as long as I could. So there I was, having fun and taking it as it goes. The conversation was good and we always have a good time. But I realized something, he’s cool, but I’m kind of over him.
I have no issue with being alone. I actually enjoy my own company. Some days I'm just down right bored and craving attention. I've taken some time since my last break up (read about how this inspired me to blog here) to get to know mys elf a little better. I'm realizing it's time to listen to God's urging through the Universe to be better about who I chose to link with romantically.
You see, I’m outgrowing those guys. The ones who seem interested but aren’t ready to commit. I’m outgrowing the games and I just don’t have time to be chasing anyone. As a single woman in her 30’s, it can be both liberating and scary to have this realization. To realize, I’m just not that into HIM! I want something more, something special, and something true. I had to break it to him. I let him know he’s been demoted and I went on with my life. I may change my mind (don’t judge me!) but for now, I’m doing my own thing. And damn it feels good! I’m choosing me. I’m saying to hell with these boys masquerading as men. I'm holding myself accountable for who I am choosing. I’m looking for a real one.