It’s 2:27am and I can’t sleep. As hard as I try, the zzz’s will not come. I think to myself, “Mediate on the word sleep”. Sleep….sleep…sleep….why am I still awake? Has this ever happened to you? Have you found yourself awake in the middle of the night pondering things you should have let go in the waking hours? This seems to be happening to me more often as I continue this journey of self-discovery.
Lately, I’ve been hit with a bout of loneliness and self-pressure that has been almost stifling. How does this serve me, I ask myself? What am I searching for? Can’t I get over this already? I do so much self-reflection; sometimes I’m afraid of the answers. And then I remember there are simple steps to conquering fear, eliminating loneliness, and getting out of my head.
It’s amazing how great I feel after a workout. I feel like Xena, She-ro, Wonder Woman, hell, I might even be Cat woman by the end of my workout. The point is, exercise is one of the most underutilized stress relievers. When I exercise, I am loving myself. I am pushing my body to the limits, letting go of my frustrations. I am releasing the stress from my mind and body. I am letting everyone know I am a mutherf***ng beast!
Why isn’t this first, you might ask? Because it doesn’t need to be. We can pray at any time of the day and a number on the list does not keep prayer from being important. Prayer gives me a sense of purpose. Prayer reminds me that this too shall pass, I don’t have to carry this burden forever. Prayer reminds me to have hope.
Phone a friend. I am blessed to have some great girlfriends who send me a random text or email at the most necessary times. It’s like they have ESP or something :) I remind myself I may be lonely, but I am never alone. My good friend, AQ, encouraged me to enjoy this time. She said I should embrace where I am because life can change in an instant. So here I am, enjoying my own company and looking forward to the connections I will make in the future.
Just do something!
Move, dance, write, read, binge-watch a little TV, sing along to your favorite song. Accept what you are feeling and do something about it!
I use the app, Calm, to assist me with a meditation practice. The app is free through iTunes but some of the meditations are only available if you subscribe. Don't worry, they have plenty of free meditations. One of my favorite things about Calm is the sleep stories. Typically, I need a quiet environment to sleep but I find on the days when I can't shut my brain off, I can concentrate on the story and relax enough to fall asleep.